Pre Production Revisions and improvements

I read the class's input in response to my original preproduction package, so i've decided to make a new storyboard and include some details about my movie that may make the concept stronger.

Terrain:

I included a park area within my movie, but overlooked the potential for a range in textures and objects the camera can come in contact with.  There are so many different surfaces and objects in a park that i could exploit.

wooden walkways

cold plastic surfaces

stepping stones *shoe could jump from one to the other*

tiling inside park bathrooms

Goal of the movie: Having some sort of destination in mind would aid in giving the movie a specific direction to take with out detracting too much from my original concept.  I also included moments where the camera does not move as much. There were concerns that my movie could cause motion sickness if the pace moves too fast for too long.  I still want my music to play as the shoes walk, but I have included moments where the sound is temporarily replaced with another sound effect or music track.

Revised breakdown:

The dirty sneaker belongs to an individual whose free time is spent playing recreational soccer.  The movie opens up with a shot of the soccer ball next to one of the two shoes.  The individual picks these objects up (one of which is the camera) and sets them down elsewhere.  We see the hands of the individual tying one shoe, then picking up the shoe that serves as the viewer's point of view.  A foot comes towards the screen, indicating that we are the other shoe.

Two people are needed to play soccer, so the first destination of the shoe is to the house of a friend.  I still want to include many different areas to travel between.  I'm thinking of having 3 for this segment:  From walkway of front lawn, to concrete sidewalk, to asphalt of street.  

From here the camera sits for a moment, and the sound of an ice cream truck can be heard.  The wheels of the truck are in the shot confirming the shoes' location.  Suddenly, a blob of ice cream falls onto "our" shoe, and ice cream covers the frame.  

As it is wiped off, the camera transitions to the house of the other individual.  The individual rings the doorbell once.  Then the individual rings the doorbell again.  Our view of the shoe moves up and down in rapid succession, denoting impatience.  The door finally opens and the camera sees another set of shoes and soccer ball.  The shoe turns, and takes its first step, which cuts to the park area. 

 The pace of the shoes slows a bit as they step across wooden surfaces, through sand, mulch, and grass.  (This is the area i can include most of my gritty textures.)  Dirt and mud accumulates on the shoe.  The dirt fills up the frame, darkening the view considerably.  The next shot opens as the soccer ball is kicked.  (the sound of the kick can be heard.) Dirt tracks from the shoe can be seen on the ball after it is kicked.

From there, I have two ideas.  I can end the movie there, or i can transition back to the closet from the first shot, where the individual takes the shoes off, puts them back into the closet, and closes the door.  One gives a definite ending whereas the other emphasizes the cyclic nature of wearing shoes each day.  I can film both, but which one would be a better fit for my movie?

Revised storyboards will be completed soon.